Stressing out trees????

There is an add on TV saying how they have lino, carpets for sale for your house.

The thing that has me wondering is this.....

De-stressed work flooring timber....... yep you read it right... de-stressed wood.

How in the hell do you de-stress wood?????

It is a good idea to play gentle music. I would suggest something along the lines of Norwegian Wood, or a walk in the black forest.
Dim the lights. Using warmed linseed oil or similar, give the wood a good massage. Rub the oil in firmly and spread it around thoroughly.
Talk gently and soothingly as you work.
A little brandy or similar worked in with the oil will help to put the wood in fine timbre.
Peace

Oi Jan wanna come and see thee, somedays I feel like a worn out old tree